


Somebody Else

by organisedchaos



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, POV Richie Tozier, Pining, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 01:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14125170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/organisedchaos/pseuds/organisedchaos
Summary: A letter to Stan from Richie to tell him how he feels after they break up (title from and based loosely on the song Somebody Else by The 1975)





	Somebody Else

Stanley,

It’s been a while since we last spoke I know, but I can’t seem to shake you from my mind. I’ve been thinking about us, i guess, and how things were in the beginning. Those memories coming back to me as clear as if they’d happened yesterday. Like our first date, do you remember how nervous we both were? How you kept wringing your hands when you spoke? Or how I made a waiter drop the tray he was carrying when I pulled your chair out to impress you? That poor fucking guy, he probably still hates me! We had our first kiss that night, and fuck this is cheesy but, i finally felt like i’d found my home. Right there with you, it was everything to me.

I fucked up Stan, I know I did, i forgot that feeling, I got scared. More than scared, actually. I felt like we were moving too fast, like I was suffocating and had to escape. I’d never felt love like that for anyone before and instead of embracing it, I ran from it. I was insecure and knew that I didn’t deserve you. I was so caught up in my head that i started to resent the feelings you had for me. I convinced myself I couldn’t be with you, that we weren’t right for each other, that I didn’t want you anymore. I’m still haunted by the look that was in your eyes the night that I told you those things. I panicked, I wanted to be with you Stan, I just couldn’t be with you, you know? In hindsight, friends with benefits wasn’t the best solution and i’m sorry that I convinced you it was. We became toxic after that night, the love that remained went cold. It became a vicious circle of falling into bed together, me leaving as soon as the sun came up and you telling me that you couldn’t go on like this anymore. I had a hold over you and I was selfish to use it against you, I knew how much I was hurting you but I couldn’t let you go completely - I pushed you away and when I was lonely, I pulled you right back in again.

It was you who finished things in the end. You finally snapped and cut me off, and yet i still didn’t believe it was over. When I collected the last of my things from your apartment, all I could think was “this isn’t the end, this won’t be the last time i see you”. But the days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months without you at my side and it broke me. Alcohol helped me forget, seeing other people made me forget, but honestly? You were always there, a small ray of light in the back of my mind that never quite went away.

It was Bill who put the final nail in the coffin. He told me your new boyfriend is moving in soon, that he’s a good guy (handsome too apparently, thanks big bill!!). I guess hearing that reminded me, after all this time, I should probably be getting over you but it still kills me picturing you with somebody else.

You deserve to be endlessly and completely loved Stan and I’m sorry I couldn’t give that to you. I’ll always regret how things ended, I hope one day you can forgive me.

Yours Always  
Rich

**Author's Note:**

> any feedback is appreciated!! (im sunshinestanley on tumblr if you wanna say hi!!)


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